背影朱自清

---------題記

與父親不相見已二年余了，我最不能忘記的是他的背影。

I have not seen my father for more than two years. What impresses me most is the sight of his back.

那年冬天，祖母死了，父親的差使也交卸了，正是禍不單行的日子。我從北京到徐州，打算跟著父親奔喪回家。到徐州見著父親，看見滿院狼籍的東西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼淚。父親說：“事已如此，不必難過，好在天無絕人之路！”

I remember it was winter that year, when my grandmother passed away. Misfortune never comes alone. My father was out of work. At that time, I went to Xuzhou City from Beijing, planning to go back home with Father to deal with the affairs about my grandmother. When seeing father in Xuzhou and witnessing everything was messy in the backyard, I could not help thinking of the death of my grandmother and tearing heavily. Father said to me, “Everything has been set now, so we do not need to feel sad. Luckily, there will always be a way out.”

回家變賣典質(zhì)，父親還了虧空；又借錢辦了喪事。這些日子，家中光景很是慘淡，一半為了喪事，一半為了父親賦閑。喪事完畢，父親要到南京謀事，我也要回北京念書，我們便同行。

After coming back home, Father sold out all our possessions to pay the loans, but we were still in debt. Worse still, we had to again borrow some money to bury my grandmother. Therefore, during those days, our situation was less than worse due to the funeral affairs and my dad’s unemployment. After all was done, Father set out to Nanjing to hunt for a job, while I had to go back to Beijing to finish my education, so we went together.

到南京時，有朋友約去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便須渡江到浦口，下午上車北去。父親因為事忙，本已說定不送我，叫旅館里一個熟識的茶房陪我同去。他再三囑咐茶房，甚是仔細。但他終于不放心，怕茶房不妥貼；頗躊躇了一會。其實我那年已二十歲，北京已來往過兩三次，是沒有什么要緊的了。他躊躇了一會，終于決定還是自己送我去。我再三勸他不必去；他只說：“不要緊，他們?nèi)ゲ缓茫　?BR>
After reaching Nanjing, some friends invited me for a trip around the city, so we stayed in the city for a day. The next day in the morning, I must take a ferry across the river to Pukou, and in the afternoon I must take a train for Beijing. Father had originally told me he would not see me off because of his busy affairs. He had asked one of his acquaintances in the hotel to accompany me to the railway station. However, he was still in great concern about me, and after hesitating for a while, he decided to go with me. Actually I was already 20 years old then and had been commuting between Beijing and Nanjing for several times. So I tried to persuade him not to go with me, but he insisted, saying, “It does not matter. I will go with you. I am afraid they cannot take good care of you.”

我們過了江，進了車站。我買票，他忙著照看行李。行李太多了，得向腳夫行些小費才可過去。他便又忙著和他們講價錢。我那時真是聰明過分，總覺他說話不大漂亮，非自己插嘴不可，但他終于講定了價錢；就送我上車。他給我揀定了靠車門的一張椅子；我將他給我做的紫毛大衣鋪好座位。他囑我路上小心，夜里要警醒些，不要受涼。又囑托茶房好好照應(yīng)我。我心里暗笑他的迂；他們只認得錢，托他們只是白托！而且我這樣大年紀的人，難道還不能料理自己么？唉，我現(xiàn)在想想，那時真是太聰明了！

After sailing across the river, we entered the railway station. I went to buy a ticket when he kept an eye on the luggage. As our luggage is too heavy, we had to employ a porter to carry it onto the train. So dad was busy bargaining with them about the price. I was kind of displeased with his bargaining over pennies, so I always interrupted. Finally, he managed to settle the price and accompanied me to the train. He picked a seat by the door for me and I stretched the large-sized purple coat made by him across the seat. He enjoined me to be alert all the way for fear to catch a cold at night. Again he asked the servant to take good care of me. I was then laughing ironically at him in heart, for it was known to all that those servants merely recognized nothing but money. Besides, I was old enough to take good care of myself. Now looking back on that day, I have to laugh at myself for being too clever!

我說道：“爸爸，你走吧�！彼囃饪戳丝凑f：“我買幾個橘子去。你就在此地，不要走動�！蔽铱茨沁呍屡_的柵欄外有幾個賣東西的等著顧客。走到那邊月臺，須穿過鐵道，須跳下去又爬上去。父親是一個胖子，走過去自然要費事些。我本來要去的，他不肯，只好讓他去。我看見他戴著黑布小帽，穿著黑布大馬褂，深青布棉袍，蹣跚地走到鐵道邊，慢慢探身下去，尚不大難�？墒撬┻^鐵道，要爬上那邊月臺，就不容易了。他用兩手攀著上面，兩腳再向上縮；他肥胖的身子向左微傾，顯出努力的樣子，這時我看見他的背影，我的淚很快地流下來了。我趕緊拭干了淚。怕他看見，也怕別人看見。我再向外看時，他已抱了朱紅的橘子往回走了。過鐵道時，他先將桔子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。到這邊時，我趕緊去攙他。他和我走到車上，將橘子一股腦兒放在我的皮大衣上。于是撲撲衣上的泥土，心里很輕松似的。過一會說：“我走了，到那邊來信！”我望著他走出去。他走了幾步，回過頭看見我，說：“進去吧，里邊沒人�！钡人谋秤盎烊雭韥硗娜死�，再找不著了，我便進來坐下，我的眼淚又來了。

I said to him, “Dad, you can leave now.” He looked out of the window and said, “I am going to buy some oranges. You should stay here.” I looked to the railway platform, over whose fences there were several sellers waiting for customers. One should walk across a railroad, jumped down and then jumped up to the platform before he reached the sellers. Father was very fat, so it would be more painstaking for him to go there. I intended to go by myself, but he did not permit, so I just let him go. I saw him wearing a big black coat and deep green cotton clothing, staggering to the railroad. It was not difficult then. But when he tried to walk across the road and climb to the platform, it was no easy thing. He had to climb to the top of platform with his bare hands, legs lifted upward, massy body wavering to the left with great strength. At the sight of his back, I could not help tearing cats and dogs. But without a second of hesitation, I swiftly wiped the tear off my face in case that he, as well as others would see it. When I looked out of the window again, he was walking back towards me with oranges in his arms. When crossing the railroad, he had to put all the oranges down and climbed down the platform, then picked them up again and went on to walk towards me. When he approached me, I quickly went to hold him by the arm. After we boarded on the train, he put down all the oranges onto my coat and pretended to be relaxed when patting off the dust on his clothes. After a while, he said to me, “I have to leave now. Remember to write a letter to me when you arrive!” I was watching him going out. He looked back to me and said, “Go into the train. Nobody is there to attend to your luggage!” I still kept watching until the sight of his back disappeared in the crowd. Then I went on the train and sat down, tearing again.

近幾年來，父親和我都是東奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外謀生，獨立支持，做了許多大事。哪知老境卻如此頹唐！他觸目傷懷，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要發(fā)之于外；家庭瑣屑便往往觸他之怒。他待我漸漸不同往日。但最近兩年不見，他終于忘卻我的不好，只是惦記著我，惦記著我的兒子。我北來后，他寫了一信給我，信中說道：“我身體平安，惟膀子疼痛厲害，舉箸提筆，諸多不便，大約大去之期不遠矣�！蔽易x到此處，在晶瑩的淚光中，又看見那肥胖的、青布棉袍黑布馬褂的背影。唉！我不知何時再能與他相見！

These years, Father and I went on the trip all the time. Our family condition is worsening day by day. He went out to make a living when young, and has made a lot of achievements with great independence. Who could predict our situation would become so awkward with time passing by? Therefore, he often sinks in great agony and can hardly control his emotion. In order to vent his sentiment and dissatisfaction, he will easily lose temper on daily trifles. He treated me differently from the past. But these two years, we seldom met each other and he finally forgot my drawbacks and simply keeps missing me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote a letter to me, saying, “I am in good condition overall and only suffering a great pain in my shoulders. It is considerably inconvenient for me to use chopsticks or pens. Maybe I am near my end!” Reading this sentence, through my crystal tears, I can seemingly spot the back with green cotton clothes and black coat. I have to sigh when I can meet him again!

背影 朱自清

背影朱自清