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追憶似水年華
Can it really be sixty-two years ago that I first saw you?
It is truly a lifetime, I know. But as I gaze into your eyes now, it seems like only yesterday that I first saw you, in that small café in Hanover Square.
From the moment I saw you smile, as you opened the door for that young mother and her newborn baby. I knew. I knew that I wanted to share the rest of my life with you.
I still think of how foolish I must have looked, as I gazed at you, that first time. I remember watching you intently, as you took off your hat and loosely shook your short dark hair with your fingers. I felt myself becoming immersed in your every detail, as you placed your hat on the table and cupped your hands around the hot cup of tea, gently blowing the steam away with your pouted lips.
From that moment, everything seemed to make perfect sense to me. The people in the café and the busy street outside all disappeared into a hazy blur. All I could see was you.
All through my life I have relived that very first day. Many, many times I have sat and thought about that the first day, and how for a few fleeting moments I am there, feeling again what is like to know true love for the very first time. It pleases me that I can still have those feelings now after all those years, and I know I will always have them to comfort me.
Not even as I shook and trembled uncontrollably in the trenches, did I forget your face. I would sit huddled into the wet mud, terrified, as the hails of bullets and mortars crashed down around me. I would clutch my rifle tightly to my heart, and think again of that very first day we met. I would cry out in fear, as the noise of war beat down around me. But, as I thought of you and saw you smiling back at me, everything around me would be become silent, and I would be with you again for a few precious moments, far from the death and destruction. It would not be until I opened my eyes once again, that I would see and hear the carnage of the war around me.
I cannot tell you how strong my love for you was back then, when I returned to you on leave in the September, feeling battered, bruised and fragile. We held each other so tight I thought we would burst. I asked you to marry me the very same day and I whooped with joy when you looked deep into my eyes and said "yes" to being my bride.
I"m looking at our wedding photo now, the one on our dressing table, next to your jewellery box. I think of how young and innocent we were back then. I remember being on the church steps grinning like a Cheshire cat, when you said how dashing and handsome I looked in my uniform. The photo is old and faded now, but when I look at it, I only see the bright vibrant colors of our youth. I can still remember every detail of the pretty wedding dress your mother made for you, with its fine delicate lace and pretty pearls. If I concentrate hard enough, I can smell the sweetness of your wedding bouquet as you held it so proudly for everyone to see.
I remember being so over enjoyed, when a year later, you gently held my hand to your waist and whispered in my ear that we were going to be a family.
I know both our children love you dearly; they are outside the door now, waiting.
Do you remember how I panicked like a mad man when Jonathon was born? I can still picture you laughing and smiling at me now, as I clumsily held him for the very first time in my arms. I watched as your laughter faded into tears, as I stared at him and cried my own tears of joy.
Sarah and Tom arrived this morning with little Tessie. Can you remember how we both hugged each other tightly when we saw our tiny granddaughter for the first time? I can"t believe she will be eight next month. I am trying not to cry, my love, as I tell you how beautiful she looks today in her pretty dress and red shiny shoes, she reminds me so much of you that first day we met. She has her hair cut short now, just like yours was all those years ago. When I met her at the door her smile wrapped around me like a warm glove, just like yours used to do, my darling.
I know you are tired, my dear, and I must let you go. But I love you so much it hurts to do so.
As we grew old together, I would tease you that you had not changed since we first met. But it is true, my darling. I do not see the wrinkles and grey hair that other people see. When I look at you now, I only see your sweet tender lips and youthful sparkling eyes as we sat and had out first picnic next to that small stream, and chased each other around that big old oak tree. I remember wishing those first few days together would last forever. Do you remember how exciting and wonderful those days were?
I must go now, my darling. Our children are waiting outside. They want to say goodbye to you.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes and bend my frail old legs down to the floor, so that I can kneel beside you. I lean close to you and take hold of your hand and kiss your tender lips for the very last time.
Sleep peacefully my dear.
I am sad that you had to leave me, but please don"t worry. I am content, knowing I will be with you soon. I am too old and too empty now to live much longer without you.
I know it won"t be long before we meet again in that small café in Hanover Square.
Goodbye, my darling wife.
我們初次相遇，難道真的是六十二年前嗎？
年華似水，倏忽間我們已相攜一世。望著你的眼睛，當(dāng)年的邂逅歷歷如在昨昔，就在漢諾威廣場的那間小咖啡館里。
從見到你的那一刻起，那一刻你正為一位年輕的母親和她的小寶寶開門，那一刻當(dāng)看到你的盈盈笑靨，我就明白我只愿與你執(zhí)手?jǐn)y老，共度今生。
我仍然不時想起，那天自己那樣地盯著你，一定很傻；就那樣情不自禁怔怔地望著你，追隨你摘下小帽，用手指松了松短短的黑發(fā)，追隨你把帽子放在桌前，雙手捧起暖暖的茶杯，追隨你微撅櫻唇，輕輕吹走飄騰的熱氣，我的目光始終追隨著你，感覺自己在你的溫柔舉止間慢慢融化。
從那一刻起，一切似乎都鮮明了意義。咖啡館里的來來往往和外面鬧市的熙熙攘攘忽然都模糊了起來，我眼里能看到的，只有你。
光陰似箭，那一天卻不斷在我的記憶里重演，鮮活如初。多少次我再次坐下，不斷追憶那天的點滴，不斷回味那些飛縱的瞬間，重新體會一見鐘情的美麗。歲月的流逝卻并沒有帶走我的愛戀感覺，這些體驗會永遠(yuǎn)伴隨我，安撫我的寥寥余生。
即使是當(dāng)我在戰(zhàn)壕中控制不住地顫抖，我也不曾忘記你的容顏。我蜷縮在稀泥中，身邊是槍林彈雨，彌漫硝煙，我把步槍緊緊地攥在胸前，一顆驚恐不安的心，還是想起了我們初識的那一天。身旁戰(zhàn)火呼嘯，恐懼讓我想要大聲呼叫，直到想起你，仿佛見到你在我身后盈盈淺笑，戰(zhàn)場忽然沉寂下來，在這珍貴的瞬間，我覺得自己暫時遠(yuǎn)離了毀滅和死亡，飛向你的身旁。我拼命想留住這美好，直到睜開眼，周圍卻依然是血與火的生死戰(zhàn)場。
九月休假回到你身邊，我疲憊而脆弱，沒能再告訴你戰(zhàn)火紛飛時我對你的愛有多深。我們只能緊緊擁抱在一起，仿佛要把對方擠碎。也就在那天，面對我的求婚，你深深凝望我的眼睛，答應(yīng)做我的新娘，而我早已歡喜地大喊大叫。
我現(xiàn)在正看著我們的結(jié)婚照片，總是放在妝臺上的那張，就在你的首飾盒旁。那時候，我們多么年輕，多么純真。我記得我們站在教堂的臺階上，開心得像一對甜蜜的鴛鴦，你還說我穿著制服多么英武俊朗。照片已經(jīng)舊得泛黃了，但我看到的，卻只有當(dāng)年青春的明媚姿彩。我仍然記得你母親為你做的那件新娘禮服，那些精致的花邊和漂亮的珠飾。讓我再想一想，我還能聞到那婚禮花束的甜香，你那么驕傲地捧著花，讓每一個人分享你的幸福時光。
一年后，你輕輕地把我的手放到你的腹前，對著我的耳朵悄悄透露這個讓我欣喜若狂的好消息：我們就快有寶寶啦。
我知道我們的孩子都深深地愛你，他們現(xiàn)在就在門外等候。
你還記得喬納森出生的時候我那手足無措的慌張樣子嗎？當(dāng)我笨拙地把他抱在懷里，我還記得你笑話我的樣子，我看著他，我們都情不自禁地迸出了開心的淚花。
今天早晨撒拉和湯姆帶著小緹西也趕到了。你還記得嗎？第一次看到這個可愛的小孫女，我倆高興地緊緊擁抱。真讓人難以相信，她下個月就八歲了。親愛的，我不得不忍住眼淚告訴你，小家伙今天穿著漂亮的裙子，閃亮的紅色小鞋，讓我立刻想起當(dāng)年相遇時的你，連她的短發(fā)也像極了年輕的你。當(dāng)我在門口看到她的時候，她的笑容暖人心脾，這竟然也和你一模一樣。
我明白，親愛的，你累了，我應(yīng)該讓你離開�？墒菒廴思词�，孤侶何傷！
這些年我們相濡以沫，白首到老，我總是逗你說你的容顏依然如昔�？蛇@是真的，親愛的，我真的見不到他人眼里的皺紋和白發(fā)�，F(xiàn)在我望著你，也還是只能看到你嬌嫩溫柔的紅唇和秋水流盼的眼眸，仿佛我們第一次在那條小溪邊野餐，在那棵巨大的老橡樹旁追逐嬉戲。那時候我們剛剛在一起，總是盼望那樣的日子生生世世，你還記得嗎？那些日子是多么激情蕩漾，讓人不忍回首……
親愛的，我應(yīng)該走了。孩子們都等在外面，他們要和你道別。
我擦去了眼角的淚，跪在你的身邊，輕輕靠近你，握住你的雙手，最后一次吻你。
親愛的，安心地睡吧。
這分離扯碎了我的心。別擔(dān)心，我很快就會來陪伴你。生死茫茫，塵世間沒有你，這滿腔的衷腸憑誰傾訴？這只影的寂寥復(fù)有何歡？
很快，我們就能在漢諾威廣場的那間小咖啡館里再相逢。
再會了，我的愛妻。 (實習(xí)編輯：夏根建)
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